Sunday 27 July 2008

This is the first post in my new dairy.

Dear diary,

Fuck you.



Why would I want to tell you about my day. You don't care. You don't even read my blog. I am all alone in this blog. You know, you can flag my blog. Yup. Flag it, it has like tons of swearing in it. The next person that comes up and reads this: flag my blog. Nobody likes vulgarity right? I must be one sick motherfucker to be swearing so much and talking about mantits and whatnot.



Cause it would be so much simpler for me to just start a proper website. But then it would crash the moment I got more than like a hundred viewers. Right now I would say the only people that read it are people who get here from my messenger list, click on my status and going "whA? I didn't know he was so offensive!". Why the hell would anyone read some stupid blog called Henry's Rant, that doesn't really talk about anything. I must be one sick kid, probably listening to that satanist Marilyn Manson all day and cutting myself.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE WANT TO CUT HIM or HERSELF? It goes against... everything.

Stop cutting yourself.

People don't want to hear proper arguments about religion and other things. Every e-mail I've received concerning this blog has completely missed the point of what I'm trying to say. But it's funny, I get a laugh. I know you're all fucked. I'm fucked. We're all fucked together. And now it's 02:27 in the morning and I'm writing this. WHY? Why don't you comment on my blog. Just comment. Type "ur gay" and I will read your comment.

Hey look! This picture is funny! Laugh at it!


















Are you done laughing? Cats are so funny. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I laughed. Man I am so bored right now. Thank God cats exist to relieve our boredom. Oh no... I said God. It means I'm not an atheist. Woops, looks like I revealed my true nature.

And right now I am thinking to myself that 9 out 10 people who have read this far did not get the sarcasm involved. You know, when someone is convinced of something, or when looking for something to prove their point of view, there is no way to defeat them. No way... you can bring on whatever argument you want, they just won't listen and as soon as something comes along that slightly supportes them, they go like OMg seE I TolD you I waS rIght!!!lolol insert internet slang here1!!1337.

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1 1 <-------------- number square 1 1 11111111111 Man... this internet is something. Why... why are you reading this? At this point I am basically just rambling. I am half asleep, I can feel my consciousness fading and I am just pouring my train of thought into this text editor. But that's interesting. You know it is... subscribe... Subscribe. Add to favorites. Add to blogroll. Success... peer appreciation... why are you alive right now? Wouldn't you be better off dead? What do you contribute to society? Damn that's a stupid question. Why would anyone want to contribute to society? In the end everything is pointless. If you gave a human the posibility to have sex at any moment, anywhere, all the time, he would stop eating and sleeping. That's all humans want. They just want sex. And they want other people to know about the sex. And it's always these wild stories. Everyone has orgies now, have you noticed that? No one makes sweet, sweet love anymore. Why would it be sweet... it's not sweet. If anything, its kind of salty. I mean, this one chick I asked told me she tasted it and it was sort of salty. AHAHAHAH I MADE A REFERENCE TO SEMEN!!! My father totally like found a seriously brutal two part epic porno video I was keeping on an external drive. Like seriously brutal. Nothing more beautiful then 6 women, completely naked doing nothing at all. Just waiting for penis. And then the penis comes. 6 of them. 6 gigantic, huge, initially flacccid manpoles get in the room and proceed to assram them. That is what my daddy found on my drive lol. I wonder what it's like to see your child grow and go through school, and receive an education and then turn out to be a misanthropic, porn loving, athletically dysfunctional, sexually confusing, sarcastic, weird metalhead that talks about semen on his blog. Let me take this further. I am now going to be... EXTREMELY vulgar. Like seriously, don't read past this point. Have you ever farted out your dick? Like sometimes, when you cum, there seems to be some additional air inside your urethra, and it goes like prrtzzzz. And you're like OH SHIT DID I JUST DICKFART? Ehehehe... I can fart out my dick at will. In fact, here's the interesting thing, I am known for being able to fart from anywhere on my body. You know how some people can do those armpit farts. Well I can do those. But I can also do dickfarts, legfarts, stomachfarts, handfarts, neckfarts, assfarts (separate from real intestinal flatulence), and many others. I have trained myself extensively. How can you possibly still be a creationist and read about me and my farts? Why would a God take his sweet time to engineer my body and make it a perfect fart machine? Why not focus the same energy on... I don't know... showing up and going like "Hey guys I'm real lol". Why do people eat onions? They don't taste good. The answer still eludes me. Now it's 3 a' clock in the morning. And I have stuff to do as soon as I wake up. But we have coffee right? Why are you still reading? I am completely on autopilot right now. I am no longer writing, my hands are typing by themselves. This isn't me typing right now. Henry is an idiot lol. NO I'M NOT! Yes he is lol. HEY FUCK YOU HAND! Holy shitball! A fucking bird just crashed into my window! There's blood everywhere!!! OH SHIT THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME! Okay turns out it wasn't a bird. In fact, there wasn't anything, I just made it up. Thought it would spice things up. Why are you still reading this? I wish birds actually crashed into windows more often. And somehow you keep hearing of that happening but it never seems to. I'd like to see like... an eagle, crashing into my window. Can you eat eagles? I know that nobody is reading this now. But I'm writing it anyway. Nothing impresses me anymore. I feel like I've seen it all, and it's all the internet's fault. And 4chan's fault. Nothing offends me anymore. Nothing, I am completely insensitive to everything. I have seen shitting dicknipples, raep, CP, softpaw, furry porn, yaoi, gore, vore, guro, scat... you name it. If a normal human being had just a glimpse of my mind, they would go insane. But who the hell is normal anymore. And what is normal? I am normal right now. If you don't look at guro, you are not normal. You don't even know what guro is, right? It's porn. Only... with like swords and blood and stuff. And the women get slaughtered and turned into human toilets and stuff. There was this one pic that was totally awesome where this chick was like cut in half, and half of her was turned into a toilet and the other one was still used for sexual intercourse. We like this stuff. Humans thought this stuff up! This is art, dammit. This is the equivalent of Shakespeare, and 100 years from now people will look back at guro and talk about the 4chan period, when humans competely lost touch with preconceptions and racism and homophobia and all that. I sometiems wonder what goes through the mind of the artist making these drawings. Because I know most of them are 15 year old Inuyasha fan girls. What goes through the mind of a 15 year old girl as she tactically rubs her stylus on some drawing tablet, coloring some... three shafted penis or something. Man this is a long fucking post. You know what? I think I'll keep writing. And writing... and writing. It would be a lot shorter if I didn't leave empty lines between paragraphs, though. You are all getting me wrong. I am not criticizing humanity. This is all good! Why is sex so important to everyone? What makes it so essential to everything? I used to think the furry movement was a spirit of the moment, just people who had fun dressing up as animals. But slowly I am realizing... it's all meant to feed some hidden zoophillic fetish that for some reason has actually begun to appeal to me. How can you not fap to antropomorphic foxes? It's so fucking hot, and it's a novelty. It's strange, people want to fuck strange things. There never was a sexual revolution in the 60's. This is it. This is the sexual revolution. Or then again, maybe it started in the 60's, but only now is it in full bloom. But we all get weird thoughts. Everyone gets weird thoughts, even the nicest most innocent person occasionally thinks about murdering someone or raping someone. Cause it's your mind, and no one can find you in your mind, and, law aside, humans have some kind of strange fascination with rape and violence. They just love seeing... the end of life, the end of happiness, innocence being taken away, violated. Take a moment and imagine. Imagine blood and violence. It is refreshing. Why not keep it in your mind and off the streets? And real life is 10419102499 times for violent and bloody than the most violent and bloody gore movie. They make blood look cool in movies, but in real life it is viscous, and dirty. And more satisfying. And there's always a lot more of it. And the injuries are so much more ugly, so much more terrifying. You imagine your familiar, beautiful face, trashed into pieces by some kind of meat grinder, or in a car accident, with your eyes popped out and your scalp torn open, and your intestines rolling down the road. I guess that's why some people cut themselves. There is a point where it becomes pleasurable. Did you ever feel like you were born against your will? You never had a choice, did you? No. And now, it's almost as if you're forced to pay off a debt even though you never actually wanted to borrow life. Especially if you're religious. If you're religious, you are automatically damned as a sinner from birth. How can you come to terms with that? It's impossible. I try to go on, but in reality I know that the world wouldn't be much different without me. And now I have to live as a naked, frightened being inside a fragile, slowly decomposing body. You know that. You think about it every day, admit it. It sucks being human. Our bodies are dirt cheap. Man this is one long post. brb toilet I just love pissing. I try to enjoy my body, though. It's interesting to just... take a deep breathe. Feel the air fill your lungs. It's such a complicated system. Our bodies are constantly moving and doing something, and we coexist with them in this strange, pointless symbiotic relationship. It's like my body is a completely different animal from me, but I have to watch it piss, shit, eat and fuck, against my will. Might as well enjoy it, eh? No one really has proper sex anymore, though, do they? If I had a choice between actually having sex and watching two lesbians go at it, I would choose the lesbians. Do you think I should start a video blog on youtube? I have recorded a lot of videos but I just don't feel I have the proper comedic timing yet. Cause timing is everything. I don't get it, blogger is suggesting a couple of labels for this post and they are "scooters", "vacation and "fall". Are some people actually writing stuff about scooters? Lolol. And falling? Is falling interesting? Vacations are fucking awesome though. Everything is fucking awesome! I love you all! Usually I hate everything but for a moment now I love everything. Every single virus and every single iraqi bomber. And every criminal and rapist and death and pain and suffering and time and aging and religion and darkness and farts and porn and everything, every little thing. So many things... and yet only one planet. This is ALL there is. And we made it all up. For all we know, in this entire universe there are only around 6 billion human beings, and their main focuses are football, cellphones and Miley Cyrus. And we obsess about nothing. We pass laws against things that have no real meaning and we censor things and we prosecute people for saying things... we are so fucking nuts. There is no way you are still reading this. Fuck you dear diary. Okay, that was supposed to be my ending... exit... thing, but I'm still not done. I can't sleep. Do you think I should change the color of my text. Lolol it's slightly yellow now.

Fuck yellow.

BLACK. This text is black. Or rather... brown... african american. I won't say the n word... noooo... I can talk about vore and guro and stuff and nothing will happen but if I say the n word I can get sued or worse. You know, TheAmazingAtheist put this into perfect words in one video. Beautiful women aren't allowed to show their breasts on youtube, but TAA can show his disgusting man titties all he wants and no one will take down his videos.

TAA is amazing. When I found his channel, all I did for a few days straight was just watch his videos. And I still do. I find older videos of his and I watch them and they are so damned interesting. In fact, I think he was the main motivation for my little blog... writing thing. But looking at his little youtube career, it's become obvious to me that it's pointless to talk about atheism, since even he, a person with obvious oratory and comedic skill cannot get a proper point across to headstrong religious people.

BTW, buy his book, Musings of A Subhuman. And if you don't buy it, at least download it as an e-book or something. It's fucking impossible to make money off books today. If you're not going to pay for it, at least give it a try. It's a nice condensed version of his normal youtube ideas.

I am so tired. But I can't sleep. And this post goes on and on and on and on and on.

Speech recognition sucks ass. I'm writing this usurp speech recconnaisance mark year.

Okay it's 4 a clock in the morning now.

And it goes on and on and on. And you're still reading this, obviously.

And really, I don't kno

Argumentless statements.

Fuck you and your pointless statements. Fuck you. YES. YOU. And I mean it when I say fuck you. Right now, some... generic entity is coming over to your location, and will proceed to engage in sexual intercourse with you. Thus, you will be fucked. Fucking will occur, and even the concept of sex itself shall have sex with you. That's how fucked I want you to be if you are one of those people who go like "Greenday sucks", or "Dragonforce rocks."

Why?!?! Why do you think you are entitled to some kind of godly opinion that requires no proof or validation and is just automatically true? You have every right in the world to hate anything you want. I HATE Greenday. Dragonforce. I think it sucks balls, but that doesn't mean it actually does. Is it so hard to just go "I don't like this." instead of "THIS SUCKS UR GAY HAHA!".

And youtube is the best place to experience this phenomena. Go to any damned video and you will see at least one "ur gay" comment. WHY? Have you ever seen the person in question have sex with another person of the same gender? Probably not. Sometimes there isn't even a person in the video and the statement is meant towards... nothing. The video is gay? Does the video have some kind of metaphorical gay butt sex with other videos of the same gender? And normally you would classify this as trolling, but then you go these peoples' channels and they are normal fucking people. And why is it always "ur"? Is it really so hard to NOT act like a fucking illterate idiot? I know why they do it, they do it because most Americans can't tell the damned difference between "you're" and "your", because your educational system is a pile of steaming shit. Even I, a foreigner can talk and write better than the average native english speaker.

And everyone speaks in the same way, on the internet. Or rather writes.

Sometimes I get the feeling there is just one single generic guy that writes all comments, all reviews and writes all the text on the internet.
Some smart guy will probably go off and start saying like "why are you making so much fuss over some internet crap u nerd lol ahaha go fuck ur mother". Well the internetz iz SERIOUS BUSINESS!

Sometimes I stop for a moment and think about wether a comment I'm reading is sarcasm. I think to myself... "it HAS to be sarcasm. No one is this stupid.", but then I remember that 90% of people have no sense of sarcam, and more people and that are just plain stupid.
I've been listening and viewing more and more atheist related videos on youtube lately, particularly TheAmazingAtheist, and... damn, reading the comments on his videos is just so fun. Allow me to review a few, for good justice.

still a virgin, huh?

I wonder why people usually attack someone's sex life as if it's some kind of soft spot that you attack for massive damage. Same things goes for...

ur gay

Wow... how insulting. TAA must be devastated. I would say someone who has the weirdest possible fetishes possible and shows his mantitties on youtube in pretty much every video doesn't even feel the impact of such an empty fucking remark.
Well enough of that, the point is obvious. And me talking about it in my forsaken blog that nobody every reads anyway isn't going to change anything.

Well there you go, I have fuflfilled my weekly quota of blog posts. Now I can focus on things I really care about and things that matter, like football... and girls. Fuck football.

Weee I am so offensive lolol.

Monday 14 July 2008

Mission accomplished.

It is finally done. Henry is moving to England. I am finally getting out of this shithole.

Hey Romania! Nanananananana! You just got fucked in the ass by me. HAHAHAH!

Oh man I can't wait to get there and just sit there and be all British and stuff and laugh at Romania like the malevolent, evil bastard that I am. Some day, I will bomb it. I will bomb it into dust, and afterward I will fry it with napalm, and then dump acid over it. Then, the plagues shall come, and will consume all who stand against me. And when everything is destroyed and the Romanians are at my knees, I shall be Lord Henry. And from the ashes of post-communism shall rise a new Empire. Henrya. And the Lord of Death, Henry Gale, will send forth his messengers of doom and pestilence and pain and fire and anguish and cornflakes. And he will laugh. I SHALL LAUGH.

AHAHAHAHHA!!!

I have finally realized what I hated most about this place... it's the smell! The stench of humankind, brought to it's farthest extreme of greed and stupidity. If monotheistic human-like robots came over and invaded us right now, I would side with them. Seriously, I would seriously like blow The Earth away, and then use a giant robotic ship that blows things away to blow it away again. And then, LULZ, I would regenerate the entire planet, and BLOW IT AWAY AGAIN! AHJAAHAHAHHAHAJAJAJAJ!!1111one

And I would let them start with Romania. I would slowly fire my lasers at Timisoara, then slowly proceed to the East, and wipe Cluj away. Then I would slowly cut towards the south and destroy Targu Jiu. Then East again to Bucharest, which will suffer a longer exposure to my proton beam, due to an abundence of bullshit. Then, I will fire my Galactic Nuclear Warheads at Costanta (it doesn't matter what city you fire it at, though, since it destroys an entire solar system). THEN, I would track down all the probes that we sent into space, and destroy them, to make sure there is no trace of mankind.

Take that, human kind.

Henry, as TheAmazingAtheist would say, PEACE THE FUCK OUT.