Greasy doorhandles!

So I woke up this morning, and I went down to eat and stuff. I'm a parasite. So I attempt to enter the kitchen, but as I grasp the door handle, I feel this... icky, squishy, greasy substance on the surface of the device.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Clear evidence that old people are living in this house. Old people never wash their hands. Everything they touch is pure grease. The fridge door handle, the cupboards, the counters... everything! Wash your hands! And the knives...

The knives are never clean. I don't want to get in there and try to cut off a piece of mellon or something only to find that the knife has 2 day old dried meat juice stuff on it, a remnant from the cutting off some animal just a few days ago. I hate you Romania. There are supermarkets now.

I occasionally (almost never) wash the dishes, but when I do, I make them fucking sparkle. But when old people do it, it's like they don't notice that they're leaving dried bits of disgusting food on the surfaces of the plates. And I put them back in the sink so that someone will wash them again, but I just get the inevitable question, "Why did you put it back in the sink? Is my cleaning not good enough for you? Why... when I was your age......"

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they can't really cook... I tell myself that old people can cook because they've been around for so long, but they mess up just as much or even more than we do. At least over here, they can't cook. I don't want to eat that stuff. And Romanian traditional quisine is extremely horrible. I occasionally enter the kitchen to find intestines and stuff lying around, mostly around Easter. At least we don't slaughter a fucking pig every Christmas now, like we did a bunch of years ago.

And why is eating so important to these old people? You must eat ALL. All must be eaten from the plate. Fuck you, maybe I've had enough. Is it not morally acceptable to not eat everything in the plate? I am a grown man now, mommy-kins!

And since when is pizza not food?

WHAT YOU'RE EATING PIZZA AGAIN? WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO EAT FOOD?

Must I go over the specifics? Do I need to explain in extreme detail exactly what food is? Food is anything that you eat for nourishment. The "food" class does not only contain the members related to disgusting home cooked soup.

Why do we eat that liquid thing? It's horrbile. And over here they let it coagulate and it evolves into a horrible traditional food called racitura, which is... well... horribly disgusting even from a distance. It's like an automatically failed check against Fear, it just keeps you away. Some soups are good though... the nonexistent ones.

If it were up to me, I would eat falafel for the rest of my life. Man, that stuff is so good... it gives me a boner just thinking about it. Mmmm yeah, falafel mmmmm!!! Uhhh UHH UHHHH!!! *spurt*

But whenever I see that racitura stuff I reach for my flamethrower. It deserves to be nuked from orbit.

Henry, singing off.